Tonight's Top Ten
by Ran Hakubi
Summary: A parody of David Letterman's Top Ten list. KP related lists. Tonight's list: Top ten New Year's resolutions of the Kim Possible writer.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:** Given the angst I had in my last story "8 Nights" and the future angst I will be posting, I thought I'd hit ya'll with some humor. This was inspired by Kimron Posstoppable's "Possible: Secrets" and part of one of cpneb's stories. I believe it was "Define Hell IV".

Disney owns Kim Possible, and "The Late Show" is owned by Worldwide Pants.

Special thanks to Akinyi and cpneb for "betaing" the list.

* * *

**Tonight's Top Ten**

"So Paul, as we all know, Kim Possible's show has been taken off the air, but she'll continue to save the world with her boyfriend Ron," Dave Letterman said to his own sidekick, Paul Shaffer.

"That's right Dave, and, personally, I think it speaks volumes about her personality" Paul replied.

"And that Pert and Pretty shampoo she uses adds volume to her hair," Dave said, getting a small amount of laughter from the audience.

"So I've heard, but I wouldn't know to much about that," Paul said back. Again, another small chuckle from the audience came.

"Well, be that as it may, in honor of Kim Possible, every now and then we're going to do a Top Ten list dedicated to the show," and then Dave grabbed a card off his desk and held it high in the air. "Ladies and Gentlemen, here in my right hand is tonight's Top Ten list!"

On the screen set up for the audience, the music for the list started to play, along with a computer animated graphic of the numbers one through ten jumping around like they were on one of Kim's missions.

"From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma, the top ten things you don't want to here Dr. Anne Possible say while she's at work," Dave said and flipped the card over in his hand, getting to start of the list. "Top ten things you don't want to hear Dr. Anne Possible say while she's at work."

"Oh, so Mrs. Dr. Possible's first name is Anne, I didn't know that," Paul said.

"Uh, yeah, they told us her real first name in the final episode. Here we go, Number ten: This guy's head looks like dinner from last night…wait a minute…"

"Number Nine: Hand me the cutty open thingy so we can fix this guys thinking parts"

"Number Eight: Don't worry; I just put a new chain on this saw. You won't feel a thing."

"Number Seven: Has anybody seen my watch?"

"Number Six: What's this grey thing in this guy's head?"

"Number Five: Oops."

"Number Four: Now that I have tenure, I can work on my plans to switch the brains of a duck with a cow!"

"Number Three: Doesn't this thing go on the outside?"

"Number Two: Well, this guy's gone. Martini!"

"Martini?" Paul asked

"Yeah, I, uh, I guess she likes to drink away a botched operation," Dave answered, then moved on.

"And the number one thing you don't want to hear from Dr. Anne Possible while she's at work: Wow, look at his leg jump! Here, you try it!"

"Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight's top ten. There you have it!" Dave said, "We'll be right back with Jim Carrey!"

And the show cut away to commercial.

* * *

**A/N:** Look for these to come out at random times through the year. And I'm willing to accept ideas for Top Ten lists, just send 'em to me in a review or an PM.

BTW: The "home office" is my actual home town. Don't look for it to be changing anytime soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Well, here we go. Another top ten. Really short chapter this time, but all the chapters are suppose to be pretty short, seeing as how the focus is on the top ten list itself. Anyways, moving forward!

Disclaimer: KP is owned by Disney, and "The Late Show" is owned by World Wide Pants.

Folks, lets give a hand to the following people for reviewing: kim's 1 fan, Mike Industries, Captain IT, cpneb, CajunBear73, Warbird, Drakonis Aurous, DeucesWild, Samurai Crunchbird, Desslock3, and storyreader51.

Special thanks to cpneb for helping me with this list.

* * *

David Letterman sat at his desk and leaned back in his chair, looking over at his band leader, Paul Shafer. 

"So Paul, what do you think will happen now that Kim Possible's show has been taken off the air?" Dave asked.

"Well, I think she'll keep saving the world, and she'll somehow find a way to get her show back. Maybe they'll make a live action show on ABC," Paul replied.

"Doesn't ABC already have that show with 'Chuck'? Or is that on NBC?" Dave asked back.

"Oh, well, hmmm, I guess you're right. Well, maybe we should honor her by doing another Kim Possible related top ten list?" Paul said, answering Dave's question with his own question.

"Paul, you brilliant man! That's just crazy enough to work!" Dave said and then turned back to the audience. He grabbed a blue card on his desk and held it up high into the air.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, here in my right hand is tonight's top ten list, here we go," Dave said and then brought the card down to look it over, flipping it in his hand as he did so.

A computer animated graphic of the numbers ten through one on a set of places around the world played on a screen for the audience to watch, while the CBS orchestra played the music for the top ten list.

"From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma…"

"Wait," Paul interrupted, "shouldn't the home office for these be in Middleton?"

"Are you kidding? The only writer we found who could do these lives in a darkened apartment with his mom in Owasso," Dave answered.

"Oh, so he's just like the writers here in New York then," Paul said. Laughter from the audience soon filled the studio.

"Pretty much, here we go, Top Ten things James Possible says when launching a rocket. The top ten things James Possible says when he launches a rocket. Number Ten: Up yours, Lipsky!"

"Number nine: Lets see that Letterman punk do this!"

"Number eight: Oh Anne!"

"Number seven: I can do the same thing with enough Viagra."

"Number six: I sure hope the Naked Mole Rat/Naco fuel mixture holds up"

"Number five: Never in your dreams, Porter!"

"Number four: Eh, it was alright, I've done better."

"Number three: Well, its up. Lets go hang with some shorties while drinking some forties."

"Number two: That wasn't supposed to go up until next week. Oh crap!"

"And the number one thing James Possible says when launching a rocket: Rockets are go!"

"There ya go, tonight's top ten list. We'll be right back with Sandra Bullock!" Dave said and the show cut away to a commercial.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:** I wrote this after I watched the Pats lose to the Giants in the Super Bowl. I was rooting for the Pats. In case you don't know, the Go City Comets is the NFL team for Go City in my KPTV Universe. I figured it would okay to use them for this chapter of "Tonights Top Ten"

Disclaimer: KP is to Disney as "The Late Show" is to World Wide Pants

Special Thanks to the following for their reviews: kim's 1 fan, Drakonis Aurous, Captain IT, RonHeartbreaker, cpneb, Pharaoh Rutin Tutin, Warbird, Cody MacArthur Fett, rebafan4ever, and Desslock3

* * *

David Letterman leaned back in his chair and looked over at his co-host slash sidekick, Paul Schaffer.

"So, Paul, as we all know, we've been doing Kim Possible related Top Ten lists, Its been our way to celebrate the show and everything that came from it," Dave said to Paul.

"And I've just loved the lists that have come up from that theme, they have all been really funny," Paul replied.

"Also, as we all know, Kim Possible has been known to spend a fair amount of time in Go City, home of Team Go and the NFL team the Go City Comets," Dave said.

"Oh, hey, I love the Comets, to bad they lost the Super Bowl last night, I was really pulling for them," said Paul.

"That's right, they did lose the Super Bowl, and that leads us into this," Dave said, and then grabbed a card off his desk, holding it high in the air, "Ladies and gentlemen, here in my right hand is tonight's top ten list!"

The audience cheered as Paul and his band started to play the music for the top ten list, while a computer animated short of the numbers one through ten came out of a football tunnel, like they were starting a game.

"From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma, Top Ten Go City Comets excuses," Dave said and flipped the card over.

"Go City excuses? Oh! As to why they didn't win the Super Bowl! I got it!" Paul said.

"Yeah, the top ten Go City Comets excuses, here we go. Number ten: Was to distracted by the fact that owner Martin Smarty insisted on wearing a jock strap in our locker room."

"Number nine: Kim Possible tried to be our head coach."

"Number eight: Scared at how big the guys on the other team were."

"Number seven: Who cares about the game? M.C. Honey is doing the half time show, yo!"

"Number six: Didn't really wanna hoist a big trophy above our heads."

"Number five: Thought it would be a good time to try out our Miami Dolphins impression."

"Number four: What? You mean it isn't best two out of three?"

"Number three: Swore the coach for the other team slipped the ref a twenty."

"Number two: Inspirational call from Letterman wasn't very inspiring."

"Now wait a minute, I gave a darn good speech," Dave said before continuing on.

"And the number one Go City Comets excuse: Who cares? We're all rich anyways!"

"There you have it, tonight's top ten, we'll be right back with Patrick Warburton," Dave said before the show cut away to commercial.

* * *

**A/N:** Just a quick little reminder to you all that the Fannies are just around the corner. The second round of voting has started, and I'm in three, THREE catigories (Best Songfic, Best K/R, and Best Crossover). So be sure to head on over to the forum "Kim Possible Discussion" and let your voice be heard by voting for the authors that were skilled enough to make it to the second round! 


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Well, here we go again with another top ten list. This one is in honor of the Fannies, which will be "airing" this Saturday as of 2/18/08

Disclaimer: Disney has a deathgrip on Kim Possible, and World Wide Pants maintains a strong control over "The Late Show"

Special thanks to Pharaoh Rutin Tutin, Captain IT, Warbird, Darkonis Aurous, and Desslock3 for their reviews. Badical!

* * *

David Letterman leaned back in his chair behind his desk and looked over to the leader of the CBS Orchestra, Paul Shaffer.

"You know Paul, The Fannies are coming this Saturday, and all the biggest writers of the Kim Possible fanfic world are going to be there," Dave said.

"I know," replied Paul, "I've got my money on Slyrr to win Best Villian and MrDrP to take home best K/R."

"Well, yeah, if you want to go with the easy picks, but what about Best Songfic or Best Crossover?" Dave asked.

"Oh, on those I'm picking Ran Hakubi to win best cross over and Star-Eva01 to take home best songfic," Paul replied.

"You know, I hear one of our writers is going to be presenting a Fannie," Dave said.

"Oh, so one finally escaped from the dungeon, huh?" Paul asked, getting a couple of laughs from the audience.

"Yeah, it's the same guy who sends us the Kim Possible related Top Ten lists," Dave replied.

"Oh, well, good for him," Paul said.

"Yeah, but he'll come crawling back, they all do," Dave said and then reached onto his desk, picking up a card and holding it high into the air. "Ladies and Gentlemen, here in my right hand is tonight's Top Ten list."

Paul gave the cue to the band to start the music for the list, while on a screen set up for the audience, the numbers one through ten paraded around a Golden Ruffie.

"From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma. Tonight's list: Top ten signs that your fic isn't going to win a Fannie,"

"C'mon now Dave, that isn't very nice," Paul said.

"Well, lets face it Paul, as much as we'd like it, not everybody can take home a Fannie," Dave said, then flipped the card around in his hand. "Top ten signs your fic isn't going to win a Fannie, here we go. Number ten: That guy that everybody flames? He flamed your story."

"Number nine: The only person to nominated you in the first round of votes was that weird girl that talks about the birds in her hair."

"Number eight: You sent your story off to Letterman for a beta."

"Now wait a minute here," Dave said before continuing the list.

"Number seven: All of your reviews are from people begging you to stop."

"Number six: Your fic? 'Kim and Ron had sex. The End'"

"Number five: You've been getting job offers from porn e-mail spammers."

"Number four: Your story has been posted for six months. Total number of hits? Two."

"Number three: I'm sorry, there is no number three. Writer is off winning a Fannie."

"Number two: Letterman asked you to be on his writing staff."

"That's right, we get our writers from the internet," Dave said.

"And the number one sign that your fic isn't going to win a Fannie: Private messages from Osama bin Laden saying 'Keep up the great acts of terror!'"

"There you have it, tonight's top ten list, we'll be right back with Nicole Sullivan!" Dave said before the show cut away for a commercial.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay then, another Top Ten down. Remember, I'm always taking suggestions for lists! You can leave 'em in a review or IM them to me. If I use your suggestions, I'll give you credit for the list. 


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:** Okay, so, as we all know, The Fannies have been pushed back a week due to Zaratan having personal business to take care of. We all respect and accept that and wish him the best of luck with his store. However, I saw an oppertunity for a top ten list. I got Zaratan's permission, and so here is the list.

Disclaimer: KP, Disney, Late Show, World Wide Pants. We all know what belongs to who.

Special thanks to the following for their reviews: RonHeartbreaker, kim's 1 fan, GhostWhiter, CajunBear73, Mike Industries, King in Yellow, whitem, Warbird, Slyrr, Captain IT, Samurai Crunchbird, Trapper44, Drakonis Aurous, Yoshi's Best Pal, Desslock3, and storyreader51. You guys rock socks. Whatever that means.

A personal thanks to Zaratan for giving me permission to do this list.

* * *

David Letterman turned in his chair and looked over at his band's leader, Paul Schaffer. 

"You know Paul, the Fannies have been pushed back a week, so that the organizer, Zaratan, can take care of some personal business," Dave said.

"Oh, yeah, I heard about that. Oh well, I guess we'll just have to wait another week to find out who wins what," Paul said.

"Yeah, Zaratan also released the following press release as far as the delay goes. Take a look at this," David said, and the audience turned to a screen so they could watch the press conferance.

On the screen was Zaratan, standing outside the building where the awards were to be held. In front of him was a podium with several microphones in front of it, like what you would see in any other press release. Zaratan cleared his throat and then spoke into the mics on the podium.

"Folks, I hate to do this, especially at the last minute.

The Fannie Awards are to be rescheduled for one week hence, to next Saturday.

Due to circumstances that got out of control, I have to put a hold on the Fannie Awards for an extra week. I have been in the development with a couple of partners to expand my business, along with theirs, in a joint venture to establish a 7 day a week permanent business location, and have had to develop the business plan. Initially, I thought I could work on both it and the Fannie Awards effectively with the current time constraints, but our bank appointment was bumped up to Thursday of next week.

While I tried to the best of my ability to finish the Fannies before tonight, working until 4 in the morning to try and get done what I could, but I am not done. I haven't even had time to contact those whose materials I don't have yet. And as much as it pains me to say it, reality, and my business, has to take precedence, otherwise I will have no way to support myself.

I feel very badly about the delay, but I can't help it. I hope everyone will be understanding regarding the delay in the presentation."

The screen went blank shortly after Zaratan walked away from the podium he was standing in front of.

"Well, here, we're not entirely convinced about the truth behind that. In fact, the writer who sends us our Kim Possible top ten lists sent us one shortly after the announcement, and this is the first time we've gotten to read it on air," Dave said, then slid a card off of his desk and held it high into the air. "Ladies and Gentlemen, here in my right hand is tonight's top ten list!"

The screen that the audience was watching sprang to life again, this time showing the numbers one through ten sitting computers in a coffee shop.

"From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma, the top ten reasons Zaratan pushed back the Fannies," Dave said to the audience.

"But we already know why he pushed back the Fannies," Paul said.

"Well, then, I guess these are the other reasons. Top ten other reasons Zaratan pushed back the Fannies. Here we go. Number ten: Wanted to make sure he was able to watch the Oscars to see how many awards "Juno" would win."

"Number nine: Went to the screening of "Witless Protection" late Friday night. Spent all day Saturday trying to figure out why Larry the Cable Guy makes movies."

"Number eight: Wanted to make sure he could watch the debut of "CSI: Upperton", right here on CBS."

"Number seven: Was talked into it by Letterman."

"What can I say? I wanted to watch the new CSI series too," Dave said before going forward.

"Number six: Actually DOES have a bank meeting on Thursday. Imagine that."

"Number five: Went to the club Saturday night. He dropped it like it's hot."

"Number four: Got into a heated argument with a customer about who would win in a fight between Wolverine and Batman."

"Number three: Doesn't really have a damn thing written. Spent most of his time playing World of Warcraft."

"Number two: No number two. Writer pushed it back a week."

"And the number one other reason why Zaratan pushed back the Fannies: Wanted to watch the people sweat it out another week while laughing maniacally."

"There you go ladies and gentlemen, tonight's top ten list. We'll be right back with Patton Oswalt," Dave said before the show cut away to commercial.

* * *

**A/N:** I must admit, I do so love writing these top ten lists. I also love it when people tell me their favorites. It lets me know that somewhere out there, in here, I'm making someone laugh. 


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** I'm still here! I know it's been awhile since I updated anything, so I thought I'd give you guys this. If you don't like this list, blame Warbird, he's the one that came up with the subject of the list. Okay, okay, blame me. I'm the one that actually wrote it.

Disclaimer: World Wide Pants, belongs, Disney, to, Late Show, to, owns, Kim Possible. You might have to put it in the right order.

Thanks to kim's 1 fan, Mike Industries, acosta perez jose ramiro, storyreader51, Zaratan, Ron Heartbreaker, Samurai Crunchbird, Captain IT, CajunBear73, Drakonis Aurous, and Warbird for their reviews.

* * *

David Letterman looked over at band leader of the CBS Orchestra, Paul Shaffer. "Well, the Fannies have been pushed back yet again," Dave said to him.

"I know, I bet the nominated writers are really nervous about who is going to win," Paul replied.

"I know what you mean. It was like that time I hosted the Oscars," Dave said.

"Dave, I don't think it's like that…" Paul said.

"Sure it is," Dave replied, "everyone was on pins and needles wondering when it was going to be over." The joke got a few chuckles from the audience, some of whom even remembered how much Dave had indeed botched the Academy Awards.

"Well, our writer who submits our Kim Possible related top ten lists took it upon himself to send us a list that will, hopefully, take peoples minds off of the fact that they still don't know who won."

"Let me guess, its another Fannie related list?" Paul asked.

"No, actually, it's a character related list," Dave said, then pulled a card off the top of his desk and held it high in the air. "Ladies and Gentlemen, here in my right hand is tonight's Top Ten list."

On the screen set up for the audience to watch, a computer animation of the numbers one through ten jumping around a park while several small explosions went on behind them.

"From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma, top ten ways Jim and Tim can ruin one of Kim's dates. The top ten ways Jim and Tim can ruin one of Kim's dates," Dave said as he flipped the card over in his hand.

"Those little scamps will stop at nothing to drive their sister and her boyfriend batty, will they?" Paul asked.

"Seems like it. Again, top ten ways Jim and Tim can ruin one of Kim's dates. Here we go. Number ten: Run up to her and Ron while she's in a crowded place and yell 'Momma! Daddy!'"

"Number nine: As she's walking out the door, drop a liter of fake J2000 rocket fuel on her. Then drop a match."

"Number eight: Sneak into the restaurant and dump Ex-Lax into Ron's drink. Then lock the men's room."

"Number seven: Secretly blow itching powder onto her clothes."

"Number six: Tell Mr. and Mrs. Dr. Possible that Kim is pregnant, and that Ron's not the father."

"Number five: Two minutes before she leaves, tell her she has an interview with Barbra Walters in the morning."

"Number four: While she's getting ready, spray her dress with delayed reaction invisibility paint."

"Number three: When Kim and Ron walk through the park, project a video of Kim picking her nose."

"Number two: Sneak a chip into her food that will cause her to only say 'peanut,' 'kumquat,' and 'George Bush'."

"And the number one way Jim and Tim can ruin one of Kim's dates: Inform her that this date is going to be televised on Letterman's show."

"There you go, tonight's top ten list. We'll be right back with Jean Smart!" Dave said before the show cut away to commercial.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Okay folks. I couldn't help myself. I got struck with an idea for a list and I had to do it. I hope you guys don't mind. Also, I felt my last list was a little weak, but you guys didn't seem to mind that much. Let's see how forgiving you'll be after this one.

Disclaimer: "Late Show" Worldwide Pants; "Kim Possible" Disney (I don't think I've used this one yet...)

Special thanks to the following for their reviews: Kwebs, acosta perez jose ramiro, kim's 1 fan, Ron Heartbreaker, Captain IT, Pharaoh Rutin Tutin, CajunBear73, storyreader51, Samurai Crunchbird, Cody MacArthur Fett, Yoshi's Best Pal, and Drakonis Aurous. 

* * *

"Late Show" host David Letterman leaned forward onto his desk and looked out to the audience. "Ya know folks, Kim Possible has been overloaded with hits on her site as of late," he said, then looked over to the CBS Orchestra band leader Paul Shaffer.

"Yeah, I've heard about that. Kim and Ron are being run ragged by how many hits the site has been getting," Paul said.

"That's right folks. Wade Load, the runner of the website, has had to build a filter for all the hits coming in. It hasn't been pretty." Dave replied.

"I'm sure it hasn't. I can't imagine how wore out those two are," Paul said.

"You're right Paul. This is defiantly no laughing matter, which, of course, makes it the perfect topic for our list," Dave said and then pulled a card off of his desk and held it high into the air.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, here in my right hand is tonight's top ten list," Dave said to the crowd in front of him.

On the screens set up for the audience, and while the music for the top ten list played, a computer animation of the numbers one through ten were displayed as they pulled off impossible stunts in the ground and on the air.

"From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma, top ten messages left on Kim Possible's website," Dave read from the card.

"Like, help requests?" Paul asked.

"I guess you could say that. Again, top ten messages left on Kim Possible's website. Here we go. Number ten: This is President Bush, think you can help me pull my butt from the fire over this whole Iraq thing?"

"Number nine: Britina here, I can't seem to find my underwear. Again."

"Number eight: I'm going on vacation next week. Can Rufus host "The Late Show" for me?"

"I still haven't gotten a reply to that one yet," Dave said.

"Number seven: It's Hillary. Thanks for the speech in Colorado last week. To bad it didn't pan out, huh?"

"Number six: Save big money by refinancing your home! Reply to this e-mail to find out how!"

"Number five: I need someone to show off my line of new men's boxers. Is Ron available? Smooches, Coco Banana"

"Number four: Pans Dimensional Vortex Inducer again. You know who, you know where."

"Number three: Ran Hakubi here. I can't seem to stop writing top ten lists! Help me!"

"Finally, we've got a name to go with our writer!" Paul exclaimed.

"Number two: This is Sony. Any chance of you guys plugging the PlayStation 3 for us? We need all the help we can get."

"And the number one message left on Kim Possible's website: I represent Disney. Please come back. We promise we'll call more. Honest!"

"There you have it, tonight's top ten list. We'll be right back with Nancy Cartwright!" Dave said before the show cut away to commercial.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:** Okay boys and girls, here it is. The post Fannies chapter of "Tonight's Top Ten" although, at the time of posting, it's actually mid Fannies. But meh, who cares, right? We all wanna laugh!

Disclaimer: "Late Show" is owed by Disney. "Kim Possible" is owned by World Wide Pants...wait, scratch that. Flip the owned properties. There ya go.

Special thanks to the following for their reviews: Captain IT, Mike Industries, storyreader51, acosta perez jose ramiro, Drakonis Aurous, Nftnat, Kwebs, kim's 1 fan, RonHeartbreaker, CajunBear73, BlazeStryker, and Mace Ecam.

* * *

David Letterman leaned forward on his desk, resting on his elbows. "Paul, as I'm sure you know, the Fannie awards are over for another year."

Paul Schaffer, the CBS Orchestra band leader, spoke into his microphone. "The sure are Dave, and what a show it was. Although none of my predictions came true."

"Well, sometimes that happens. I mean, you were way wrong on your Oscar predictions as well this year," Dave said.

"Yeah, well, you win some you lose some," Paul said.

"Just like several of our writers, huh? Anyways, since this was the 3rd Annual Fannie Awards, we thought we'd go a little crazy around here. Tonight, we have three, count 'em THREE of these things," Dave said then pulled off three cards from his desk.

"Ladies and gentlemen, here in my right hand are tonight's top ten lists!"

On a screen set up for the audience, A computer animation zipped by the numbers ten through one, which were decked up like award statues.

"From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma: the first list of the night. Top ten things overheard at the Fannies." Dave said.

"I'm sure several things were overheard at the awards show," Paul said.

"And I'm sure you're right, Paul. But these were the top ten things overheard at the Fannies. And here to present tonight's list, ten Fannie nominees," Dave said and then stood up as ten Fannie nominees that were crazy enough to volunteer for such an item came out to the stage."

"Here we go. Again, top ten things overheard at the Fannies. Number ten. cpneb."

cpneb looked straight into the camera. "No, no. The grapes go in to the BACK of our limo…there ya go!"

"Number nine. Akinyi."

Akinyi stepped forward from the line. "Geez this dress is uncomfortable. Oh well, at least it's not as bad as Mace Ecam's…"

"Number eight. Slyrr."

Slyrr looked at the camera with his hands behind his back. "Is that Elliot Spitzer over there whispering something to Bonnie?"

"Number seven. Lxk."

Lxk moved forward to the camera. "Man, I really shouldn't have challenged Captain IT, Ran, and Double S to that beer drinking contest. My back teeth are floating"

"Number six, captainkodak1."

"Now to sell those pictures I took of Shego on ebay," the Captain said and then gave a wink.

"Number five, yvj."

Yvj walked up from the line and gave the camera a confusing look. "Could someone please explain to me why 'neb seems to have this grape fetish all of a sudden?"

"Number four, Allaine."

Allaine looked at the camera head on. "I paid Felix twenty bucks to give Motor Ed a flying moon. Best money I've ever spent."

"Number three, GhostWhiter."

"Now, Shego, I swear that that strap on your dress was loose before I sat down. Why…why are you glowing green like that?" GhostWhiter said to the camera with fear in his eyes.

"Number two, Zaratan."

Zaratan walked out closer to the audience. "Okay, we've had the Fannies, now will you please put down the pitchforks and torches?"

"And the number one thing over heard at the Fannies, Mace Ecam."

"Ran Hakubi paid me five dollars to put on a dress over at King in Yellow's awards. Sucker. I would have done it for three." Mace said and blew the camera a kiss.

The audience stood up from their seats and gave the authors who had come out a standing ovation. All of them bowed in unison then made their way back stage. Once they had left, Dave, who was also giving them a standing o, sat back down in his chair.

"Well, that was the first list, and our thanks to the authors who came out and helped us with it. Now let's move onto our second list. From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma: Top ten rejected Fannie awards," Dave said as he moved on to the next card on his desk.

"Yeah, I had heard that they added a couple of new awards this year," Paul said.

"Indeed they did. These are the ones that didn't quiet make the cut. Top ten rejected Fannie awards, number ten: Nicest Teeth."

"Number nine: Best use of shoe polish."

"Number eight: Cleanest underwear."

"Number seven: Baldest Author."

"Number six: Best use of Letterman in a story."

"Number five: Best Bucket List for a character."

"Number four: Hippest Homeboy in a story."

"Number three: Best homage to NASCAR."

"Number two: Greatest toilet paper mention."

"And the number one rejected Fannie award: Nicest roofing scene."

Once the list was done, Dave turned in his chair and flung the card out towards the fake backdrop of the New York skyline behind him. As it flew towards the backdrop, the sound of glass shattering played.

"Okay, moving on to our final list. This one was suggested by Mike Industries. From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma: Top ten places to keep your Fannie award," Dave said as he looked down at the card.

"Number ten: In the bathroom."

"Number nice: On top of the stove."

"Number eight: Behind the cereal."

"Number seven: In the back of the closet."

"Number six: In your gym bag."

"Number five: By your front door."

"Number four: Next to your grandma's false teeth."

"Number three: In storage."

"Number two: In the trash. (Oh, I'm sorry, that's someplace to keep your Daytime Emmy)."

"And the number one place to keep your Fannie: We'd tell you, but the censors would pull our show."

"There you have it ladies and gentlemen, for the first time in Late Show history, a three-fer on the top ten lists. We'll be right back with John DiMaggio!" Dave said as the show cut away to commercial.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, well, well. A first in both Fanfic and Late Show history. A triple shot of top ten lists in one chapter. If you're reading this mid Fannies, hang in there, and Z will be back eventually. If you're reading this post Fannies, then my congrats to the winners, and I hope you enjoyed the list I presented during the Best Comedy award. And while I didn't win any awards, that doesn't mean I'm giving up. I'm just going to try harder.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:** Not really much to say about this one. I've toyed around with this list idea for a little while, but I thought I'd give it to you people. So, here ya go.

elbissoP miK senwo yensiD dna wohS etaL ehT senwo stnaP ediW dlroW :remialcsiD

Special thanks to the following for their reviews: storyreader51, acosta perez jose ramiro, Captain IT, Kwebs, CajunBear73, Warbird, Samurai Crunchbird, GhostWhiter, Mace Ecam, The Real Sidekick, King in Yellow, and Mike Industries. Also thanks to all of you who have read this one, making it my most popular story.

* * *

David Letterman sat back in his chair at his desk and spun it around to where he was facing the leader of the CBS Orchestra, P

David Letterman sat back in his chair at his desk and spun it around to where he was facing the leader of the CBS Orchestra, Paul Shafer.

"Paul, you know, Dr. Drakken has gone straight and is now a research scientist," Dave said.

"I did hear about that. But I wonder what company he's working for," Paul replied.

"I dunno, some company in Middleton or something like that," Dave mumbled.

"Well, maybe one of these day's will find out," Paul said into his mic.

"Well, it's possible, I mean, he is here tonight," Dave said with a sly grin on his face.

"Wow! Is he really here!? What, what is he here for?" Paul asked.

"Well, watch this," Dave said and then pulled a card off of his desk and held it into the air. "Ladies and gentlemen, here in my right hand is tonight's top ten list!"

On the audience screens, a camera zipped past blue colored numbers one through ten, who appeared to be hanging out in a bar.

"From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma, top ten Dr. Drakken pick up lines. And seeing as how we've had so much success with some of the authors delivering a list, we thought we'd beat a dead horse and try it again. So, please welcome to the stage, Dr. Drakken!"

Dr. Drakken walked out to the front of the audience from back stage while waving to the crowd.

"How ya doin, Dr. Drakken?" Dave asked.

"Oh, I'm doing just wonderful! You know, there are still some peanut butter stickies back in the green room. Mother made them just for my appearance on this show," Drakken answered, then reached into his classic blue lab coat and pulled out a 3x5 note card.

"I'll be sure to get one or two during the break. Anyways, again, top ten Dr. Drakken pick up lines. Here we go. Number ten."

Drakken looked down at his note card. "How would you like to see what else is blue?"

"Number nine."

"You look like you'd be great in helping me try out a new shampoo."

"Number eight."

"I know your formula, two parts hot to one part sexy. Rowl."

"Number seven."

"Why don't we go back to my lair and talk about lippy sidekicks?"

"Number six."

"You're not a cop, are you?"

"Number five."

"How would you like to splice some genes?"

"Number four."

"I tell you, a night with a real woman would be a step up from synthoclones."

"I'm sure it would be. Number three."

"'Sup shorty? Hows bout you come on back to Tha Doctah D-rizzles lauh!"

"Again with the hip. Number two."

"You know, I once delivered a top ten list on a third rate late night talk show."

"And the number one Dr. Drakken pick up line."

"Trust me, Shego will never know."

"There you have it ladies and gentlemen, tonight's top ten list. Our thanks to Dr. Drakken."

Dr. Drakken bowed in front of an applauding audience and went back stage.

"Well be right back with Gary Cole," Dave said before the show cut away.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:** This marks chapter 10 of Tonight's Top Ten. I'll let that sink in for a moment. Well then, to celebrate this milestone, I'm posting two lists that I received from Samurai Crunchbird and Mike Industries. So if you would, kindly direct all reviews to them. SC wrote the first list, and MI wrote the second. SC also wrote a good portion of this chapter, all I did was go back and add a few edits, changed the intro up a bit (which explains why these two have written lists), and take out an anti-Oklahoma joke.

Disclaimer: None of us owns Kim Possible (coughDisneycough) or The Late Show (coughWorldWidePantscough). Yet.

A thank you to the following for their reviews on the last chapter: Kwebs, kim's 1 fan, omegarulesall, CajunBear73, Samurai Crunchbird, storyreader51, MaceEcam, Captain IT, acosta perez jose ramiro, sweetnsour33, and Mike Industries.

A VERY special thank you goes to Captain IT, who gave me my first 100th review. Thanks, my friend. Because of you, I hit a major milestone.

* * *

David Letterman turned toward the band leader of the CBS Orchestra, Paul Schaffer, from the chair at his desk.

"You know, Paul, the writer who sends us the Kim Possible top ten lists just hit 100 reviews recently. He sent us a note saying that to celebrate, he was taking a trip to the Gulf of Mexico and drink cheep tequila by the gallon," Dave said.

"Does, does that mean that there isn't going to be a Kim Possible top ten list?" Paul asked, a little worried.

"Don't be silly, Paul. The list is a tradition here on the Late Show," David said.

"Well, if the writer isn't available, then who is going to give us our lists?" Paul asked.

"Well," Dave said, "Shortly before he left, he had been given two lists from a couple of people he knew to fill the void."

"Oh, how cool! Guest lists!" Paul exclaimed.

"Right you are, Paul. From Samurai Crunchbird and Mike Industries," Dave said, before picking up a couple of cards off his desk and holding them high in the air. "Ladies and gentlemen, here in my right hand are tonight's top ten lists!"

A camera zooms into the living room windows of different house as the television screens show numbers counting down from ten to one. In the house with the screen showing the number one, the remote is thrown at the screen. The screen breaks and the 'Top Ten' logo explodes onto the middle of the viewing area. The logo remains for a few seconds as the background scene dissolves back to Dave at his desk.

"Here we go, from the home office in Fort Myers, top ten signs you are watching too much 'Kim Possible'. Here we go, number ten: You walk up to ladies in a bar and ask them, 'Do you wanna see my Naked Mole Rat?"

"Number Nine: You pull up to a Burger King drive-thru window and try ordering a Naco"

"Number Eight: You start calling Michael Vick's fighting dogs 'Rockwallers.'"

"Number Seven: You have a complete stranger on speed-dial just because his name is Wade."

"Number Six…You notice a 'Curious George' book in the library and you scream, 'AAACKK!! MONKEYS!!"

Dave pauses for a moment, turns to his bald friend and says, "Paul, you know about all my troubles, don't you?"

In unison, Paul and Dave respond, "I wouldn't give them to a monkey on a rock!"

The audience applauds the long-time running gag as Dave crosses out that line on the card with a pencil. He then throws the pencil through the 'window' area. The 'glass-shattering' sound effect is followed by Ron's voice shouting, "AAAACCCKK!! MONKEYS!!"

The drum roll returns as Dave resumes the countdown…

"Number Five: At parties, you introduce your significant other as your 'Cuddle Buddy'"

"Number Four: You discover every woman in the world turning into Shego at least once a month—Am I RIGHT, guys?"

Roars of approval from the hundreds of men in the audience give Dave the necessary response to that query.

"Number Three: Whenever your boss calls you into his office, you immediately ask, 'What's the sitch?"

"Number Two: As I am reading this, you are switching away from Letterman to catch the two-hundred-ninety-fifth rerun of a Season Four episode, with no hope of Disney Channel ever showing another episode from any other season in that time slot again—WHAT??"

Dave incredulously asks again, "WHAT??" before finishing his list.

"And the Number One sign you are watching too much 'Kim Possible': Your pants fall down every five minutes!"

Dave turned in his chair and whipped the first card through the "window" that served as his back ground. At the point of impact, the sound effects person played the ever famous "glass shattering" sound.

Returning to his position in front of the audience, Dave started the second list. "Our second list of the night, which relates to the first.

"Oh, that's right, you said that we had two lists tonight" Paul exclaimed before Dave could continue.

"That's right Paul," Dave said before going on. "From the home office in Hackensack, Minnesota, top ten signs you're watching a bad episode of 'Kim Possible.' Here we go, number ten: Kim asks everyone to call her "Kimbo"

"Number nine: Villain's private "lair" is the corner booth at Bueno Nacho."

"Number eight: It's set on the backdrop of "Rugrats"

"Number seven: Her car won't start, so she has to drive a piece of…History!"

"Number six: It's about Dr. Drakken's even more evil brother, Dr. Phil."

"Number five: Wade's newest gadget? A clock that's also a radio."

"Number four: Kim's new catchphrase: "Git R Done!"

"Number three: Goodbye teen super hero, hello Nana Possible."

"Number two: Music in the episode by Brick Flagg."

"And the number one sign that you're watching a bad episode of Kim Possible: Halfway into the episode, Ron is shot in the face by Dick Cheney… on accident."

Dave turned back to the camera and declared, "We'll be right back with Christina Milian!"


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:** LISTEN UP PEOPLE! This chapter features the winner of the Tonight's Top Ten contest I hosted. I want to thank everyone who entered. lxk, MaceEcam, the writing team of JAKT, KimRon Posstoppable, Captain IT, and Kwebs. The winner's list is below, and if you want to check out all the submitted lists, go to the Kim Possible discussion forum and look for the topic "From the home office in...".

Disclaimer: Hm, what haven't I done before. It has to be witty and clever in keeping with my usual disclaimers. Um. Well, let me think on this one. Ah crap! No time to think, uh, LateShowisownedbyWorldWidePantsandKimPossibleisownedbyDisney! Whew!

Thanks for the following for their badical reviews and I hoped that they also sent an IM to Samurai Crunchbird and Mike Industries telling them how much they liked their lists!: storyreader51, Captain IT, Yoshi's Best Pal, Mike Industries, acosta perez jose ramiro, Pharaoh Rutin Tutin, kim's 1 fan, and Shegofan.

* * *

Late Show host David Letterman looked out at the audience from his desk. "Folks, as I'm sure you know by now, we've been doing these Kim Possible related top ten lists. Now, the writer who sends us these lists just recently celebrated his 100th review. Apparently, after we read the lists on the show, he turns around and publishes them on some fanfiction website."

"A fanfiction website? Wait, I think I've heard of that," CBS Orchestra band leader Paul Shaffer said from behind his keyboard.

"Yeah, Paul, apparently it's called '' or something like that. Anyways, that's where he got his 100th review. Now, last time we did a list, we got a note from him saying that to celebrate he was, and I quote 'Heading down to Cancun to celebrate with women and cheep tequila by the gallon.' Well, it seems that he's back, but the women got to him," Dave explained.

"So what you're telling us is that we shouldn't expect any Kim Possible related lists for awhile, and instead should realize that we're going to be getting more jokes about Hilary's pantsuits?" Paul asked.

"Actually, Paul, shortly before our writer left, he had hosted a top ten contest among his fellow fanfiction writers. He sent us the winning list just today with a note explaining that he will be back to writing lists as soon as he gets over a few things. Probably best we don't find out what those things are…" Dave said, and then grabbed a card off his desk and held it high in the air. "Ladies and gentlemen, here in my right hand is tonight's top ten list."

On the audience screen, a camera zipped past a computer animation of the numbers 1 through 10 hanging out in a stereotypical lair.

"Here we go, from the home office in Tomahawk, Wisconsin, winner of the "Tonight's Top Ten contest, in a list written by the author Kwebs, top ten things over heard by Drakken in the lair since giving up trying to take over the world. Number ten: How am I supposed to rule the scientific community with out henchman?"

"Number nine: Shego! I need you to steal… never mind."

"Number eight: Oh, goody home shopping network."

"Number seven: Drat, I burnt my cookies."

"Number six: Ahh, that's good cocomoo."

"Number five: Living free like this is really off the hizzie."

"Number four: Shego, where would you like to go to dinner?"

"Number three: There is no way you have the straight, Lux. Call!"

"Number two: Shego you look lovely today."

"And the number one thing over heard by Drakken in the lair since giving up trying to take over the world: Who's the pretty flower? You are, yes, you are…"

"There you have it, ladies and gentlemen, tonight's top ten. We'll be right back with Tara Strong!"


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:** This is one of those lists that came to me, and I couldn't shake the feeling that I had to write it. So, here ya go. Please to enjoy.

Disclaimer: If you saw it on KP, it belongs to Disney. If you saw it on the Late Show, it belongs to World Wide Pants. If you saw it on CSI, it belongs to CBS. If you saw it on Family Guy, it belongs to Fox. If you saw it on Good Eats, it belongs to the Food Network. If you saw it on...

Special thanks to the following for their kick booty reviews: storyreader51, omegarulesall, Kwebs, Captain IT, Ron Heartbreaker, acosta perez jose ramiro, Pharaoh Rutin Tutin, kt of the writing team JAKT, and Drag0nf1y.

* * *

Late Show host David Letterman spun slightly in his chair behind his desk and looked out to the audience in front of him.

"I'm sure some of our Colorado viewers know this, but for the rest of us, the Middleton Police Department is honoring some of the best who have served them," Dave told them. "Now, it goes without saying that Jon Stoppable, the great-grandfather of Ron Stoppable, will be honored."

"Oh, I heard about this. They are going to talk about his adventures with reporter Mim Possible," Paul said.

"Indeed they are Paul, right up until the that World's Fair," Dave replied.

"Why do I have a feeling that this is just a lead-in to the top ten list?" Paul asked.

"We've got to stop giving you scripts of the show," Dave said and then pulled a card off his desk and held it high into the air. "Ladies and Gentlemen, here in my right hand is tonight's top ten list."

On the screens for the audience, a camera with an old time filter set up on it zipped by paper cutouts of the numbers ten through one.

"Here we go, from the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma. Top ten things Jon Stoppable would say if he were alive today. And they can do this now with a computer! So this should be very insightful and give us a good look at what detective Stoppable would actually say."

"Should I grab a pen and paper and right some of these down?" Paul asked.

"It couldn't hurt," Dave said and then turned his attention fully to the card in his hand, flipping it over to get to the right number. "Again, top ten things Jon Stoppable would say if he were alive today. Number ten: What the heck is a Falafel?"

"Number nine: Wow, they just don't make a decent mustache anymore."

"Number eight: Sweet merciful Yahweh, these Bueno Nacho nacos are delicious."

"Number seven: What's with the freakishly short sideburns?"

"Number six: What's this cable TV you speak of?"

"Number five: Hey, I know that guy! That's Dave Letterman!"

"Number four: Has John McCain become president yet? I know he was trying back in my day."

"Number three: Hey, a Tasty Freeze!"

"Number two: That's hilarious, but seriously, why would my great-grandson and his girlfriend go about saving the world?"

"And the number one thing Jon Stoppable would say if he were still alive today: I sure would like to have seen Mim in one of those bikinis! Growl!"

"There you have it, ladies and gentlemen, tonight's top ten list. We'll be right back with Michael Dorn!" Dave said before the show cut away to a commercial.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm going to try something new with this chapter. Over at the Late Show website, they have a Top Ten Xtra. Well, I'm inviting all you reviewers out there to leave your own Top Ten Xtra in your reviews. Special thanks to Captain IT, who inspired me (with his reviews) to try and pull this off.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:** Well, it's been a little while, but I'm back to hit ya'll with another chapter of Tonight's Top Ten.

Disclaimer: Oh, c'mon now. After 12 chapters, do you think I've suddenly gotten ownership of the Late Show or Kim Possible? Nope, they still belong to World Wide Pants and Disney, respectively.

Special thanks to the following reviewers: Samurai Crunchbird, Captain IT, storyreader51, Star-Eva01, daccu65, Michael Howard, Mengsk, Kwebs, Ron Heartbreaker, and acosta perez jose ramiro. And thanks to all of those who have read it!

This chapter is dedicated to Kwebs (You might remember him as the guy who wrote the winning entry in the 3T contest), who has been a totally awesome friend and gave me a totally awesome present, and has asked me to beta work his first story, "Rufus Gets a GF". It's a nice little tale about how Rufus...well, you'll just have to read it for yourself.

* * *

Late Show host David Letterman leaned forward to his desk and propped his elbows up and looked out to the audience. "Folks, the Tulsa GeekCon was this weekend, and Kim Possible's cousin, Larry, gave what is known as a 'Fan-note' speech."

"A Fan-note speech?" CBS Orchestra leader Paul Schaffer asked.

"Well, apparently, the heads of GeekCon get together and pick one of the bigger fans of sci-fi, or whatever it is they celebrate at these things, and ask him to give a speech," Dave answered.

"So, what does that have to do with us?" Paul questioned.

"Well, it just so happens that the writer who does the Kim Possible lists was working the thing, something about gambling debts or whatever, and he sent us a list about it." Dave answered again.

"Well, I'm sure it can't be any worse than some of the other subjects we've done for a top ten list," Paul said.

"Sure Paul," Dave said and then pulled a blue card off his desk and held it high in the air. "Ladies and gentlemen, here in my right hand is tonight's top ten list."

On the audience screen, a camera zipped by the computer animated numbers ten through one sitting behind vender booths while people walked past them.

"From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma…" Dave started, but was quickly interrupted by Paul.

"Hey, now that I think about it, Owasso is a suburb of Tulsa!"

"It sure is, my friend. That would explain why our writer was there. Gambling debts, yeah right," Dave said, and then continued where he left off. "Again, from the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma: Top ten surprises from Cousin Larry's Fan-note speech. Here we go number ten: Didn't really say much, just stood there and picked his nose."

"Number nine: Started to dry hump the podium after he noticed it had a picture of Sheila of the Leopard People."

"Number eight: Dropped his pants half way through and started to do the chicken dance."

"Number seven: Told the con goers to get a life and move out of their parents basements."

"Number six: Brought an actual girl onto the stage and kissed her passionately."

"Number five: Came onto the stage to the theme of 'The Memo Pad'."

"Number four: Would take a long swig from a whiskey bottle every now and then."

"Number three: Announced that he was the father of Britina's baby."

"Number two: After paying homage to Dick Cheney, he pulled out a toy light gun and blasted a con attendee in the face."

"And the number one surprise from Cousin Larry's fan-note speech at GeekCon: After the speech, he ripped off his shirt and showed a giant Go City Comets tattoo on his stomach."

"There you have it folks, we'll be right back with Jason Marsdin!" Dave said before sending the show away to commercial.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:** And we have controversy! Why? Because I wanna! Actually, I wanted to give you guys a list. Just, something to let you all know that I haven't forgotten about this little experiment that has since blown all up.

Disclaimer: World Wide Pants controls everything associated with "The Late Show" where as Disney controls everything associated with Kim Possible. Personally, I control everything associated with...um...my...laptop. Yeah, my laptop.

Special thanks to the following for their reviews of the last chapter. Even if they didn't get the jokes: Kwebs, kim's 1 fan, Michael Howard, Mengsk, CaptainIT, Pharaoh Rutin Tutin, screaming phoenix, acosta perez jose ramiro, RonHeartbreaker, storyreader51, Samurai Crunchbird

* * *

Late Show host David Letterman leaned back in his chair and looked out over the audience before him. "Folks, our Kim Possible writer suggested the we here at the Late Show give a read at the many fine stories over at that fanfiction website."

"Did you get a chance to read some stories?" Paul Schaffer, the leader of the CBS Orchestra asked.

"Indeed I did, Paul, and, while there was a lack of Mitt Romney," Dave then turned over to a picture of the governor and let out a long and loving "Wow."

"Dave! Dave! Focus!" Paul said, trying to get Dave back on track.

Dave returned his attention back to the audience. "I suddenly want a cheese pizza. Anyways, I did go, and I found out that I really do like the relationship pairing of Kim and Shego."

"C'mon Dave! You can't be serious! Kim and Ron belong together!" Paul said in a mock angry tone.

"We'll settle that after the show, Paul, but now, our writer has been becoming intrigued with KiGo, and he sent us a list," Dave said and then pulled a blue card off his desk and held it high in the air. "Ladies and gentlemen, here in my right hand is tonight's top ten list."

On the screen for the audience, a camera zipped by a computer animated setting of the numbers 10 through 1 sitting at computers typing away.

"From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma. Top ten good things about being a Kigo author."

"You mean other than the constant ridicule of K/R authors?" Paul asked.

Dave let out a small chuckle and flipped the card around in his hand. "Here again, the top ten good things about being a KiGo author. Number ten: Can now go to a lesbian bar for 'research'."

"Number nine: You no longer get bothered by the line 'Is that a mole rat in your pocket'."

"Number eight: Get to hang out with a group of fun and exciting people that all hate the phrase 'Kim Stoppable'."

"Number seven: You'll get a batch of delicious cookies made with love from King in Yellow."

"Number six: Can write a whole plethora of going green jokes and not be sucking up to Al Gore."

"Although Twinky jokes are still off the table," Dave said before going forward with the list.

"Number five: Writing under shady palm trees. Oh, I'm sorry, that's a good thing of being a Key Largo author."

"Number four: Lesbians is fun."

"Aww, c'mon! That's just not right," Dave said, then kept reading.

"Number three: You get to fight in all the shipping wars you want."

"Number two: Automatically gets you a Christmas card from the fine folks over at Slash Haven."

"Wow, a Christmas card in the middle of summer. Impressive," Dave said and then continued on.

"And the number one good thing about being a KiGo author: No longer have to worry about that pesky canon."

"There you have it folks, we'll be right back with Ron Pearlman!" Dave said as the show cut away to a commercial.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:** Well, I couldn't let the biggest movie even of the year pass without giving it a Kim Possible top ten spin. So, here it is. Oh, and to clear up any possible confusion: Hebrew Pyle Christian Bale.

Disclaimer: KP is recognized by the law talkin guys as being owed by Disney. Late Show is recognized as being owned by World Wide Pants.

Review thanks: This time, they go to kwebs, Mike Industries, screaming phoenix, GhostWhiter, Michael Howard, Pharaoh Rutin Tutin, MaceEcam, RonHeartbreaker, acosta perez jose ramiro, Samurai Crunchbird, Captain IT, yvj, storyreader51, and kim's 1 fan. Thanks guys!

* * *

Late Show host David Letterman leaned back in his seat, crossed one leg over the other, and looked over to CBS Orchestra band leader Paul Schafer. "Well, Paul, the new Fearless Ferret is just tearing up the box office, even though it's been out for a week."

"I got a chance to see it the other night, and I can see why, it's an awesome movie!" Paul exclaimed

"Indeed it is Paul, and the clip Hebrew Pyle brought last week just screamed cool." Dave replied.

"Did you get a chance to see it over the weekend?" Paul asked.

"No, not yet, but I am going to try and see it after the show," Dave said.

"Well, you defiantly need to see it, many times." Paul told his boss.

"Well, I've heard good things about it. It's even suppose to be better than Mitt Romney's hair!" Dave said.

"I wonder if our Kim Possible writer had a chance to see it?" Paul wondered.

"Well Paul, it's funny you should mention him. It turns out he had to wait in line for a good long while to see it, and while he was there, he listened in to what people had to say," Dave said, and then pulled a card off his desk and held it high into the air. "Ladies and Gentlemen, here in my right hand is tonight's top ten list."

As the band started to play the music for the list, on the screens for the audience, the numbers ten through one, dressed up in the Fearless Ferret costume, was seen jumping from building to building, using all sorts of FF's toys.

"From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma, top ten things overheard in line for the new Fearless Ferret movie," Dave said.

"Oh, well, hey, no wonder he was writing while in line!" Paul once again exclaimed.

"Right you are Paul. He knew we couldn't get away without hearing what he was forced to hear. Again, top ten things overheard in line for the new Fearless Ferret movie. Here we go, number ten: I sure hope this doesn't make the theater smell ferret-y."

"Number nine: They better let us in soon, I've got to ferret out the men's room!"

"Number eight: I hear this is the first ever movie filmed in Smell-O-Vision. At last, we'll get to smell the White Stripe."

"Nothing to get excited about," Paul said.

"No spoilers!" Dave exclaimed.

"Number seven: They say that half way through, Vice President Dick Cheney shows up and shoots the bad guy in the face. – It's still a reference people!"

"Number six: Ugh, another super hero movie?"

"Them hero's do seem to be popular these days," Dave said.

"Number five: Mr. North's plastic surgery looks great! He look's exactly like Hebrew Pyle!"

"Number four: I wonder if they will have those goofy sound effect cards during fight scenes."

"Number three: This is just lip service to keep people tide over until a Deluxman/Fearless Ferret movie comes out."

"Number two: I just know Letterman is going to do a top ten list over this movie."

"Indeed I did! Last laugh's mine, suckers!" Dave said.

"And the number one thing overheard in line for the new Fearless Ferret movie: What do you mean this isn't the line for the new 'Space Battle' movie?"

"There you have it folks, we'll be right back with Adam West!" Dave said as the show cut away to a commercial.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:** Well, I wrote this chapter on kind of a whim to celebrate the fact that I am, indeed, back in college. As stated on my profile if you've been there lately. Anyways, I hereby dedicate this chapter to all of the KP authors out there who are going back to school, be it to college or regular old school.

Disclaimer: Gah, do I have to come up with humorous disclaimers all the time? Isn't it enough that you folks know that I don't own anything associated with Kim Possible or The Late Show, which is owned by Disney and World Wide Pants, respectively? What more do you want from me?!

Reviewer thanks go to the follow: Kwebs, MaceEcam, whitem, panda0031698, yvj, kim's 1 fan, Samurai Crunchbird, Michael Howard, CaptainIT, Pharaoh Rutin Tutin, acosta perez jose ramiro, storyreader51, RonHeartbreaker, Anabri, Drakonis Aurous

* * *

Late Show host David Letterman sat up straight in his chair and looked out over the audience that had gathered before him in the famous Ed Sullivan Theater. "It's getting to be back to school time folks. Which means that those that graduated high school will starting college."

CBS Orchestra leader Paul Schaffer spoke in to his mic. "Yeah, I remember that. Man, college was a blast. All those parties and waking up in strange places with missing socks and…"

"Whoa there Paul, this is a family show!" Dave said before Paul's flashback got to detailed. "Anyways folks, our Kim Possible writer is also going off to college."

"Wait a moment, isn't he twenty-six?" Paul asked.

"What's wrong with that?" Dave asked, then continued on. "Anyways, folks, not only is our Kim Possible writer going off to school, as well as several other authors on that fanfiction dot net, but Team Possible is also going off to college."

"Oh wow! Where are they going, or do you know?" asked a very curious Paul.

"Well, no one knows for sure, but our writer, who actually knows Team Possible, has given us this," Dave said and then pulled a card off his desk and held it high in to the air. "Ladies and Gentlemen, here in my right hand is tonight's top ten list."

On the audience screen, a camera zoomed by the numbers ten through one going to various points on what looked to be a generic college campus.

"From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma, top ten colleges that Team Possible will not be going to," Dave said.

"But, my question was where are they going to college," Paul said.

"Well, look at it this way, Paul. This will help you narrow down the short list of colleges that Team Possible will be going to," Dave said, "Once again, top ten colleges that Team Possible will not be going to, here we go, number ten: Port Mystic Cove Haven College of Un-Technology."

"Number nine: Rodigan University of Metal Works."

"Number eight: Southern Norway Meat Cake University."

"Number seven: Go City School of Demolition."

"I've heard of that place, Team Go is suppose to teach classes there," Paul piped up.

"Really?" Dave asked and then went on.

"Number six: Middleton Advanced School of Regressive Learning."

"Number five: Yamanuchi Univesity in South Central Seattle."

"Number four: Upperton School of Lower Education."

"Number three: Lowerton College of Useless Knowledge."

"Number two: Everlot University Newforrest."

"And the number one college that Team Possible will not be going to: Disney University."

"There you have it folks, tonight's top ten list! We'll be right back with Kelly Rippa!" Dave said before the show cut away to a commercial.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N:** Well, I never thought I'd get this far, but, here it is. Chapter 17. And I don't really see this ending any time soon.

Disclaimer: You know it. I know it. The lawyers know it. But just in case. KP related properties belong to Disney while Late Show related properties belong to World Wide Pants.

Reviewer thanks this chapter go to: kwebs, Drakonis Aurous, kim's 1 fan, Samurai Crunchbird, Anabri, screaming phoenix, Pharaoh Rutin Tutin, Captain IT, the writing team of JAKT, storyreader51, **whitem,** acosta perez jose ramiro, Nutzkie, Kimron Posstoppable, and The Real Sidekick.

If you'll notice, whitem's being bolded indicates something special. Read to find out.

* * *

Late show host David Letterman leaned forward onto his elbows and looked out over at the crowd in front of him. "Folks, as you know, our Kim Possible writer hit the magic 200 review mark on his reposting list over at the fanfiction dot net."

"Oh really? Well, congratulations to him!" Paul Shaffer, leader of the CBS Orchestra said.

"Now, indeed, this is a great landmark to reach, and, we are very proud of him here at the Late Show. But, he's not stopping." Dave said.

"Well I should hope not, the list that he gives us are great! I mean, sure, there were a few duds, but over all very enjoyable," Paul said.

"Well, in honoring his 200th review, the person that left the review, a," Dave said and looked down at a card, "am I reading this right? A Mr. Whitem?"

"I'm pretty sure that's it, Dave," Paul said.

"Well, this Mr. Whitem was given the opportunity to pick the subject for the next top ten list, and, well, we just got that list in earlier today. So, Ladies and gentlemen," Dave said and then brought the card off his desk and held it in his right hand high in the air, "Here is tonight's top ten list, let's do this."

On the audience screen, the numbers ten through one were shown sitting at type writers, occasionally throwing slips of paper over their shoulders.

"As you know, folks, Kim Possible's catch phrase is 'What's the sitch?' and it's become an internet crazy and there are t-shirts and everything else of it. But, what you folks didn't know is that there were phrases that she rejected before using her current one. Well, our writer was able to get those phrases out of her. So, from the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma, top ten rejected Kim Possible catchphrases. And here to present the list, we have none other than Kim Possible herself." Dave said.

As Kim walked out to the center of the stage, the song "Call Me, Beep Me," was performed by the CBS orchestra as the crowd gathered were on their feet giving Kim a huge applause. As the applause light went out, the crowd returned to their seats.

"Once again, top ten rejected Kim Possible catchphrases. Here we go. Number ten."

"What it is?"

"Number nine."

"Another service from your Friendly Neighborhood Teen-Hero!"

"Number eight."

"Ugh, again?"

"Number seven."

"It's ACTION TIME!"

"Number six."

"Yeah?"

"Number five."

"Initiate Possible Plan 1!"

"Number four."

"Yes, Mr. Load?"

"Number three."

"Possible. Kim Possible."

"Number two."

"I am justice! I am your nightmares! I am KIM POSSIBLE!"

"And the number one rejected Kim Possible catchphrase."

"Everybody gets one."

"We'll be right back with more from Kim Possible!" Dave shouted over the roaring applause of the audience, sending the show to commercial.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N:** Well, folks, I couldn't let the election slide without giving it a KP Top Ten, now could I? So here it is, and don't forget to VOTE if you haven't already and it's not to late!

Disclaimer: Disney has a ruling control of KP, whereas World Wide Pants has a ruling control over The Late Show

Review thanks: whitem, kim's 1 fan, Samurai Crunchbird, MaceEcam, Captain IT, acosta perez jose ramiro, Drakonis Aurous, Kwebs, screaming phoenix, storyreader51, Anabri, and Katsumara

Late Show host David Letterman looked out to the audience gathered in the Ed Sullivan theater, "Folks," he said, "This election has gone on for almost two years, and tomorrow, it'll finally be over."

"And I couldn't happier," Paul Schaffer, leader of the CBS Orchestra, said.

"You and me both, Paul," Dave replied, "But, a part of me will really miss the campaign slogans. I mean, you spend two years with something, it kinda becomes a part of you."

"You sure do miss those Mitt Romney ads, don't you, Dave?" Paul asked.

"Like you wouldn't believe, Paul. Like you wouldn't believe," Dave said and then turned to a picture of Mitt Romney and gave it a long loving look.

"Dave! Dave, focus!" Paul said, trying to get Dave back on track.

"Oh, right. Now, our Kim Possible writer got an idea…a 'list bunny' as he calls them. What if someone else had ran for president?" Dave said.

"Well, isn't Barack Obama and John McCain enough?" Paul asked.

"Apparently not for this guy, because folks," Dave said and then lifted a card off his desk and held it high in the air, "here in my right hand is tonight's top ten list!"

On the audience screen, a computer animation of the numbers ten through one were shown at campaign rallies.

"From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma: top ten campaign promises if Ron Stoppable was running for president," Dave read, "and here to present tonight's list. Ron Stoppable!"

Ron walked out from backstage to his mark on the floor, waving at the applauding mass gathered before him.

"One again, top ten campaign promises if Ron Stoppable was running for president, here we go, number ten."

"I'll put a naked mole rat in every pocket. Personally."

"Number nine."

"I'll make sure ABC fills everyone in on what's happening on 'Lost'."

"Number eight."

"The naco will be made America's official meal!"

"Man, those nacos is tasty. Number seven."

"With the economy in the toilet, I'll have Joe the Plumber pull it out."

"Number six."

"I'll make sure to get my degree from Electoral College!"

"Such high ambitions. Number five."

"My campaign's life span? Four weeks."

"Number four."

"In order to fund new energy projects, I'll make the Rose Garden available for company baseball games."

"Now that is a different way of thinking! Number three."

"I'll use my magic to solve the milk crisis in China. Wait, That's a Ron Paul campaign promise. LETTERMAN!"

"Don't blame me, I didn't write the thing. Number two."

"It will be illegal to threaten your daughter's boyfriend with black hole deep space probes."

"And the number one campaign promise if Ron Stoppable was running for president."

"Secretary of Defense? Superman!"

"There you have it folks, tonight's top ten list. We'll be right back with more from Ron Stoppable!" Dave said as the show went away to a commercial.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:** Well, one more election cycle list before we move on to other things. Like the holidays. Oh yes, there will be holiday lists. I also wanna give a shout out to all the people of the chat who helped me come up with this list!

Disclaimer: Dude, like, you should like, TOTALLY go back and check out, like the other disclaimers, from like, the other chapters.

Review thanks goes to: Samurai Crunchbird, omegarulesall, Anabri, Kwebs, whitem, Michael Howard, screaming phoenix, Drakonis Aurous, acosta perez jose ramiro, Captain IT, storyreader51, kims 1 fan, and RonHeartbreaker. And a big ol' thank you for everyone who has read and faved this story!

Oh! And you should totally check out Anabri's stories. They are very nice. Do it! DO IT NAOUGH!! Well, after you read this chapter, first.

* * *

Late Show host David Letterman leaned back in his chair and looked over at the leader of the CBS Orchestra, Paul Shaffer.

"Boy, this has been one crazy election cycle, hasn't it Paul?" Dave asked.

"I know, especially with all those close races in the news. Alaska, Georgia, Minnesota," Paul replied.

"You forgot one, Paul…" Dave told the band leader.

"I did?" Paul asked.

"Yeah, one of the House of Representatives seats was up for grabs in Colorado," Dave answered.

"Oh man, how could I have forgotten about that?!" Paul exclaimed.

"Well, it doesn't really matter anymore. After the recount, the mayor of Upperton, Colorado won against his opponent, Jack Hench." Dave said.

"Oh, well, congrats to him. I'm sure he'll make a fine rep.," Paul said.

"Oh, no doubts about it there, but, our writer, who had a source in the Hench campaign got some very good leaked information." Dave responded.

"Oh, he did?" Paul asked.

"Indeed he did," Dave answered and then pulled a blue card off his desk and held it high in the air. "Ladies and Gentlemen, here in my right hand is tonight's top ten list."

On the audience screen, the numbers ten through one where shown either exiting or going into pull curtain voting booths.

"From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma, top ten Jack Hench excuses." Dave read.

"This must have been what our writer's source must have sent him!" Paul said in an excited manner.

"Must be. Here we go. Top ten Jack Hench excuses. Number ten: Fell for the old I'll vote for you if you vote for me trick."

"Number nine: After realizing that I might have to work with Sarah Palin, I decided I didn't want it any more."

"Number eight: Uh…stomach flu?"

"Number seven: Didn't want to leave HenchCo. in the hands of my sniveling assistant."

"Number six: Publicity stunt? Yeah, sure, lets go with that one, folks."

"Number five: I shouldn't have yelled like an idiot at that rally."

"Number four: It's all just a giant popularity contest, anyways."

"Number three: Debates? There were debates?"

"Number two: The Dr. Drakken endorsement didn't really help."

"And the number one Jack Hench excuse: They really frown upon having Henchmen as aides."

"There you have it folks, We'll be right back with Michael Dorn!" Dave said as they cut away to a commercial.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N:** The last list of the year 2008. As a special treat to all you wonderful folks out there who have kept up with this through the entire year, I'm going to officially reveal the "writer" of the lists. As if you didn't already know who it was. Don't question my actions!

Disclaimer: KP, Disney, Late Show, World Wide Pants, you know where I'm going with this.

Special review thanks: Samurai Crunchbird, Thomas Linquist, Anabri, Kwebs, omegarulesall, Captain IT, acosta perez jose ramiro, storyreader51, kim's 1 fan, and RonHeartbreaker.

* * *

Late Show host David Letterman sat back in his chair and crossed one leg over the other, looking at the leader of the CBS Orchestra, Paul Schaffer.

"Boy it's been one crazy year, hasn't it?" Dave asked.

"Sure has, Dave. The election was a big part of it too." Paul answered.

"As well as the Oscars, Grammies, Emmys, and the Fannies."

"And don't forget the plunging economy."

"Also the end of the writers strike."

"I think it's safe to say that 2008 was a year full of surprises."

"As well as fun guests," Dave said, "we've had both members of Team Possible, Michael Phelps, Barack Obama, John McCain, and several other top celebrities and some of the nations biggest names."

"And we've also had a lot of fun with the skits, the gags, and the top ten lists." Paul reminded his boss.

"Well of course, who can forget the top ten lists. Folks, if you haven't noticed, we've been featuring lists relating to Kim Possible and the people she's encountered, as well as having some of the authors of her books and short stories come in and have some fun with us."

"Remember all those authors we had come in after the Fannies ran?" Paul asked.

"Oh yeah, our night of three top ten lists. I do remember that. Boy that was a fun night, wasn't it Paul?" Dave replied.

"It was awfully nice of cpneb to show a few of the band members how he can handle a violin after the show." Paul said.

"And speaking of writers, as you know, the writer that sends us the Kim Possible top ten lists has remain shrouded in mystery," Dave said as he turned his attention out to the crowd. "Now, he may have dropped a few hints as to who he actually was, but, I think it's time that the mysterious author comes clean. Folks, if you would, give a big round of applause for the person who has been responsible for the Kim Possible lists. And, well, he agreed, as long as it was the last list he had to write for 2008."

Dave then pulled a blue card off his desk and held it high in the air, "Ladies and gentlemen, here is tonight's top ten list."

On the audience screen, a computer generated cartoon zipped past the numbers ten through one were shown at a house party while a clock counting down to the new year was displayed in the background.

"From the home office in Owasso, Oklahoma, tonight's list: Top ten new year's resolutions of our Kim Possible writer. And here to present tonight's list, please welcome Ran Hakubi.

Dave stood up as the camera set to the main stage where the guest musicians and guest list presenters took over. From back stage out walked a man in his mid-twenties, with thick framed glasses on, curly light brown hair, and a bit of heft to him. Ran waved to the audience as he took his mark.

"Again, top ten new year's resolutions of Ran Hakubi. Here we go, number ten."

"I will build upon my famous love of video games and purchase seven home consoles next year. This will bring my grand total up to roughly two hundred fifty-eight."

"Number nine."

"Find out what exactly the price of a gallon of cheep tequila, a hotel room, and people to fill said hotel room is."

"Number eight."

"Ask Letterman for a raise."

"Nothin' doin' pal. Nothin' doin'. Number seven."

"Leave the house and actually talk to girls. Maybe. Depends on if something good is on TV or not."

"Number six."

"Develop a more complete history of time, and tell that smug son-of-a-gun Stephen Hawking where to go."

"Number five."

"Take over Zaratan's spot as the leader of the Kimmunity."

"Number four."

"Announce my campaign for the 2024 presidential election."

"Number three."

"Send that Nigerian prince a few dollars. He seems like he could use it."

"Number two."

"Find out exactly what is happening on Lost."

"And the number one new years resolution of Ran Hakubi."

"Become a writer for Leno."

"There you have it folks, tonight's top ten list. We'll be right back with more from Ran Hakubi!" Dave said as the show cut away to a commercial.

* * *

**A/N:** That's it folks! The last list of 2008! Have a Happy Holidays and a great New Year! See ya in 2009!


End file.
